Let The Thunder (Thighs) Roll!

Well, like most girls my thighs are an issue. Other than the fact that they are the size of a Goodyear blimp, I have plenty of issues with them. Since my thighs are so big, they tend to rub together (ouch!) causing a small brush fire and the subsequent rushing of a fire squad to put it out. Ha! Ok, so I lied there’s no brush fire but MY GOD!, sometimes I wonder if my thighs are attempting to start one. In the morning before I leave I have to LATHER my thighs with lotion and Vaseline. They have to be more than hydrated so I don’t have to deal with chaffing later on in the day. It’s rough on a big girl sometimes…*sigh*

Anyway, another embarrassing part of my thick thighs is that when I wear spanx (actually, I wear a girdle. I’m old fashioned. *blushes*) the fabric makes a swishing sound when I walk. Since I only wear skirts it ALWAYS happens. It’s so embarrassing. I cringe in fear that the people around me can hear that “swish, swish, swish” when I walk. I think it happened once with one of my friends and I laughed it off on the outside but was devastated on the inside.

The last thing about my thunder (BOOM! CRASH! POW!) thighs that I will talk about is how they roll when I walk! *shudders* Lord knows I can’t stand it! If I’m walking really hard or fast they roll REALLY hard actually causing severe pain or whelps on my thighs. I always know when I’ve done too much when my thighs start burning. That just means that later my thighs will be whelped and super sensitive. O_o I also can’t stand when I can’t cross or close my legs because my thighs. Closing my legs is a pure exercise! I have to contract my thigh muscles and keep them clinched. And crossing my legs is a joke. One thigh will not lie on top of the other, causing my legs to slip! (I actually laughed out loud as I typed that. Yes, I can find humor in my situation =D) I usually just give up and cross my legs at my ankles. It’s been a struggle with the thickness of my thighs and my thighs have always been thick, even when I was smaller. But the bigger I become the more of a problem they are.

…So, I guess it’s good I’m losing weight, eh?... =D

Signed,
Chocolate Thunder ;)