My Fancy Feet

So #LaiWrench would not let me lie to my blog followers so here goes! Since my last post was about something about me that I'm not particularly fond of the next post needs to be about something I love. I hope this doesn't sound like a fetish but I love my feet! :) (FYI: Please enjoy this picture of #LaiWrench's feet while you read!)

I have nice feet - pretty feet as a matter of fact. They are are nicely shaped and when I have a fresh pedicure, they're soft and smooth. They don't have a lot of blemishes and discoloring and my nails are nicely shaped as well. During the summer I often take the time to do my own pedicures. I soak my feet, then I buffer my heels, then I shape my nails and cut the claws (lol) and paint them a cute color. I love to show them off in cute sandals and peep toe shoes. I guess I'm done then cause #LaiWrench is policing my blogging experience. Thanks for reading. See ya'll next time :)

J'liv.

Well, hello there...

I can blog!!!!! Technically I should NOT be blogging right now but I don't have enough energy to stay awake in recitation. So we'll scratch this and consider it a fail for the week in my Logic class o_0 Anywho, last semester was pretty crazy. I know my last post was September and it's now January. (such slobbish behavior, I know) But I'm back!! Not that I'm making any promises. I work two jobs, each for 12 hrs during the week, I have a 15 cr. class load, sing in the gospel choir and help out with a bible study. Yeeaa, I'm doing a lot. But it keeps me on my toes. So needless to say I am busy!

Now onto the reason why I stopped blogging in the first place. I had NOT been to the gym. I actually hadn't gone at ALL last semester! (again with the slobbish behavior!) But I came back this semester with goal of going everyday! That worked for the first five days! Yay me, lol! But once classes were underway the gym no longer fit into my schedule. By the time I had finished my day, gotten homework done, changed my clothes and headed back out, the gym would be closed.

But that's not a deterrent for me. I am determined to keep moving in the right direction. So, I am doing the P90x from home. And can I say one thing? #iHurt...bad. The P90x is mostly for you to build muscles so you can be ripped but I'm building muscles so I can burn fat. Most of the fat on me now is from the muscle I used to have so this is good for me. I do need to get more aerobic exercise in but this'll do in the interim. And as for my weight...*drumroll* 225lbs #pow O_O* I gained almost 20 lbs last semester, doing what I don't know! But it's cool. I'm not freaking out; just pressing forward. And as for eating I eat at least TWO meals a day. I was at three but the antibiotic I'm taking makes me nauseous so I eat less and my food choices are more responsible as well. Overall, I'm happy and moving in the right direction and as for my esteem. Well, I'm feeling me...for now...and I think this is going to last for a nice little while :)

PS: I'm going to pick up where I left off with my POA so I'll blog tomorrow!!

J'liv

Let The Thunder (Thighs) Roll!

Well, like most girls my thighs are an issue. Other than the fact that they are the size of a Goodyear blimp, I have plenty of issues with them. Since my thighs are so big, they tend to rub together (ouch!) causing a small brush fire and the subsequent rushing of a fire squad to put it out. Ha! Ok, so I lied there’s no brush fire but MY GOD!, sometimes I wonder if my thighs are attempting to start one. In the morning before I leave I have to LATHER my thighs with lotion and Vaseline. They have to be more than hydrated so I don’t have to deal with chaffing later on in the day. It’s rough on a big girl sometimes…*sigh*

Anyway, another embarrassing part of my thick thighs is that when I wear spanx (actually, I wear a girdle. I’m old fashioned. *blushes*) the fabric makes a swishing sound when I walk. Since I only wear skirts it ALWAYS happens. It’s so embarrassing. I cringe in fear that the people around me can hear that “swish, swish, swish” when I walk. I think it happened once with one of my friends and I laughed it off on the outside but was devastated on the inside.

The last thing about my thunder (BOOM! CRASH! POW!) thighs that I will talk about is how they roll when I walk! *shudders* Lord knows I can’t stand it! If I’m walking really hard or fast they roll REALLY hard actually causing severe pain or whelps on my thighs. I always know when I’ve done too much when my thighs start burning. That just means that later my thighs will be whelped and super sensitive. O_o I also can’t stand when I can’t cross or close my legs because my thighs. Closing my legs is a pure exercise! I have to contract my thigh muscles and keep them clinched. And crossing my legs is a joke. One thigh will not lie on top of the other, causing my legs to slip! (I actually laughed out loud as I typed that. Yes, I can find humor in my situation =D) I usually just give up and cross my legs at my ankles. It’s been a struggle with the thickness of my thighs and my thighs have always been thick, even when I was smaller. But the bigger I become the more of a problem they are.

…So, I guess it’s good I’m losing weight, eh?... =D

Signed,
Chocolate Thunder ;)

My What Lovelly Lashes You Have!

So keeping up with my POA here's another thing I love about me!! My lashes. I have wonderful ones :) I never really payed any attention to them because I figured everyone has lashes like mine. Apparently I was wrong! I've been told by a number of people they would kill for my lashes. They're long and full. I barely need any mascara and when I do put a lot on it's DRAMATIC :D
Most girls use the lash extensions (which some of them look like bats!)



Others have to use curlers which I've never needed. So yay me! One more beautiful thing to point to my already beautiful self!!

P.O.A Update

I am now officially 210lbs!!! That's a big deal for me. I haven't weighed this since my sophomore year. Although my 210lbs then was a lot more TONED!!!!. But I'm not complaining. I actually weight a little less but I round up to keep me motivated :)

In terms of my workout schedule...it's not existent but according to my doctor I have to change it. I need to work out EVERYDAY for AT LEAST and hour. And 3 to 4 times a week it needs to be hardcore. That was my doctor's response when she looked at my chart and saw I lost about 20lbs since the last item I saw her, which was a year ago. No "good job!" or "go you!" So I will work harder....but I'm starting next week. This week is too hectic...

A Little Housekeeping

First I would like to properly acknowledge my followers!
To my first follower MI MOLOCITO!! BFF! Thanks for the support.
To my second follower Ash Bash Catastrophe! Thanks for checking the blog :) I less than 3 you!
To Dy & Viv: Thanks for the follow and keeping up with the blog schedule.
And to my newest follower: JOE! I hope you find this interesting.

I encourage ALL of you to COMMENT. I would really appreciate to hear your feedback.

On to the housekeeping:

So I need to make a change to my P.O.A. Instead of me blogging about one self perceived flaw, a saying and one thing I like about myself I will, instead, do one a WEEK. If I tried to do one a day my blogs would be super long. So for your sake (and my fingers) I will commit to one a week. Oh, and here is an update of the physical part of my P.O.A

Exercise Update: #epicfail ...it's nonexistent...

I'll start one day soon...

"It's not a race, it's a Journey."

So today I became watery eyed as my college adviser went through my credits and told me I would graduate in May. After my freshman year (which was an #epicfail) the thought of graduating on time, let alone graduating seemed intangible. All of my family has gone to college but none have a degree. NONE. I entered college with a slight God complex believing that anything I put my hands to would turn to gold. I was great (in my mind) and nothing could hinder that.

That is until real life hit. College has been THE most humbling experience in my life. And surprisingly I still have a level of pride or arrogance that gets in my way. Life to me was a race. All I thought about was how I could secure that ridiculously well paying job or how could I hustle and make the most money. Or how could I be the top student? The one everyone envied. All I wanted was the absolute best. Not to say that’s a bad thing but I had the arrogance/pride to match. I was the ish and I planned to stay that way.

I still don't know why I needed to learn this lesson, as I watch the same people who were with me steamroll ahead. I take that back. I'm a better person for it. Less self indulged, I guess.

Anyway, my mother said this to me this morning as I tried to hold back tears telling her the good news about my impending graduation. And I thought to myself that this quote could be applied to this blogging journey. A race can be defined as a contest of speed or any contest or competition, whereas a journey is defined as passage or progress from one stage to another. I believe there are stages of happiness. Each time I blog or meet a milestone or jump a hurdle I've reached a new stage of liking and taking care of myself. I'm not trying to get a quick fix to happiness or compete against others in the arena of health. I just want to walk along enjoying each newly acquired stage. Happy that I'm not where I was before.


So if I could offer any advice. Figure out where in your life you might be doing things for other people's approval or moving on someone else's time line. And remind yourself that to truly embrace where you’re going and what you’re doing you have to acknowledge the journey. Nothing has an easy button.

Smile, Young Girl Smile!!! (Day 1: POA cont)

Well technically this would be day 3...I couldn't blog yesterday because I no longer have internet service. The service that I was bumming for the past year is now gone. I guess the person moved out. So now I have to come to campus to blog. Bluuuuur....

Anywho! On to the next part of Day 1's blogging adventure, as I said yesterday I would dedicate the next blog to something that I found beautiful about myself. So hello pearly whites!!! Yes folks, I have a beautiful smile. This is something that I've heard pretty much all my life and have learned to take a level of comfort in. I'm not sure if it's my white teeth or the way my face lights up when I smile but something about it moves people to comment on it.



Now I haven't been number one in oral care but I try to keep my teeth relatively white. Which part of me thinks it's not hard because I'm so dark. (Ignorant to say, I know) But I feel as though if I put on a white suit or dress my teeth may not come up to par. But MOST people have that problem. If not, people wouldn't be out buying whitening strips! So the whiteness of my teeth isn't really a thorn in my side. I'm just glad that they're of a presentable color :)

My teeth also lie a little bit. People always comment on how straight my teeth look when in all actuality they aren't. I love this about my teeth!! My bottom set of teeth is actually compacted; one tooth sits forward from the rest. But unless I open my mouth and hold my head down you would never really notice. At least I don't think. But even if you did I wouldn't care because when the camera flash goes off they look white and straight.

So who can I pay homage to, genetically, for my teeth? My DADDY! We both have relatively straight teeth and I didn't really need braces. I only got them because my mom was scared that the one compacted tooth would turn. And to be honest that still may be a possibility but we'll cross that bridge IF we get there. Sadly I wouldn't have to worry about that now if I hadn't throw my retainer away at McDonald's and declined on telling my mother that I did so for the SECOND time. (As you can see I was a VERY responsible teenager) I lucked out because she's never asked about the whereabouts of my retainer to this day. But she probably knows I lost it a long time ago. O_o

If it's not the straightness of my teeth or the whiteness of them that makes people comment then the only thing left could be the joy in my smile. When I'm happy, I'm happy. And sometimes I can feel the happiness oozing out of my smile. And, as my mother would say, I have a superwoman complex. Everyone, everywhere should be having a good day and if not I see as my job to make it happen. When you smile, I smile. When you cry, I crack a joke or encourage you until you smile. Smiling is usually the precursor to laughing and if I can get you close to that then you might start feeling an endorphin drive!! Ha! This blog reminds me of a song my mother sung to me when I became sad as a little girl. I think I'll post it at the bottom.

Anyway, I love smiling. I love how infectious it is. I love the happiness that is connected to it. I love MY smile, which is a part of ME =D

~*~ The Song :) ~*~
So smile, young girl smile
And the whole smiles with you
Smile, young girl smile
Whenever you're skies are blue

No matter if it's sunny or it's rainy
No matter if you're up or down it's easy to
Just smile, young girl smile
Because the whole world smiles with you!!!

J'liv

Day 1: P.O.A

So the activity part of my P.O.A did not happen...#fail. But there's always tomorrow :)

For the esteem part of my P.O.A, I'm going to talk about the facial hair (as the bad) and my smile (as the good). So every woman's fear is facial hair in places it doesn't belong. (i.e. the chin, the upper lip, etc) For example my roommate freaked out when she found stray hairs on her chin and proclaimed she had a beard. I stood there rubbing my chin wondering what it would be like to ONLY freak out over a few scattered hairs.

What causes the growth of my facial hair? Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I remember learning around age 10 that I had it. And I was heartbroken. Imagine learning at a young age that you probably won't be able to have kids and that your weight gain is due to an incurable ailment. (I had an awesome childhood) I spent most of my early years going to doctors and specialists and my self esteem was shot. I ballooned up to about 250lbs and had a full beard and mustache while the guys my age were struggling to get whiskers.



What made it worse was that the hair was stubborn. We tried a home waxing kit that didn't work well at all. So I had the conversation with my dad that every young man has with their father. I learned how to shave. At first I used my father's shaving gel and aftershave to keep from getting ingrown hairs. Then my mom bought me shaving gel for women and tea tree oil to put on my face after. Even though I could no longer see the hair in the mirror I knew it was there because I could feel the stubble. At that point I threw out the possibility of me getting married. No man wants to shave with his wife in the morning.(sigh)

But while in college I tried waxing again. Most places don't chins and lips and if they did, they all of the sudden didn't because of the amount of hair on my face. But there's a place in NJ called,Hello Gorgeous,that did. My best friend booked the appt. (since she lives there)and encouraged my to give it a try. After years of shaving my facial hair had only become more stubborn and thicker. But I figured, "What the hay? It'll just be another failed attempt." Armed with my razor, shaving gel and lack of faith I headed to NJ for yet another attempt. And surprisingly, they got ALL the hair off my face. I could've cried when I saw my bare chin and subsequently was able to run my hand against it without feeling stubble. Never in a million years did I think I would be privileged to that sensation. And yet I was.

But keeping with my realistic attitude I decided that I should wait on my rejoicing and see how long it lasted. The woman said it should last for two weeks. I didn't think it would make it. And I was right. It only made one week but that one week was awesome. I NEVER let anyone put their hands on my face because if they didn't know I had facial hair before they would know then. The crowning moment happened in the latter half of the following at my church conference. Someone grabbed my chin and kissed my cheek. Of course, from years of having facial hair, I jerked back with terror. He was the last person I wanted knowing that I was a faux man. Mid kiss I realized that there wasn't any hair on my face but of course, just to make sure, I slipped my hand across my chin while holding my breath. No hair.

You may not understand just how much that moment meant to me. But it meant so much. For the first time I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. All I need to do now is find a place in Pittsburgh or D.C. that does a good job with hair removal. I tried a place near campus and the woman gave up. I saluted her on her attempt and went home to shave after.

I can't end this blog without a resolution for my facial hair. I will say this. I need to find out what kind of wax they used and see what places use it near me. Once I've found that out I need to set aside money every month so that I can get it done. Waxing thins out hair, hopefully this rings true for my facial hair. Since this blog is so long I will dedicate tomorrow's blog to my smile. =D

Thanks for reading,

J'liv